10 Steps to Increase Employee Turnover
Does your company suffer from low employee turnover? Are you frustrated because you’re HR department doesn’t spend enough time collecting exit surveys and hiring new employees. If your employee turnover rate is less than 100%, here are some suggestions to help you boost that rate.
1. Make sure your employees know that you can live without them. Don’t buy into that silly notion that people want to feel they are an important part of a team.
2. Don’t worry about paying your employees enough to live on. You’ve probably heard the leadership experts say that money isn’t a motivator.
3. Spend as little as possible on training but accept no excuse for employees not to be fully trained and proficient in all aspects of their, and everyone else’s job. Sure, you have to meet the minimum standards those pesky government agencies set but you can do that with a few computer based training courses. Unsupervised and poorly designed computer training will encourage them to cheat anyway which will get them back on the floor faster.
4. When accidents happen, don’t waste time with a careful investigation. Instead simply fire everyone within 20 feet of the incident.
5. Create as many supervisor and manager positions as possible but don’t give them any real authority. Of course you can hold them accountable for everything that happens. See number 4.
6. Don’t give anyone any leadership training. This is important as several studies have shown that most people quit a job because of the actions of their bosses.
7. Find two or three people whom you really like and give them special consideration. This can be an exception to number 4. But, in order to reach that coveted 100% or higher turnover rate, change these people from time to time. Pick one of your favorites to blame for the next incident.
8. When a really good position opens up, hire someone from outside the company. This will require a little skill as you have to keep the new victim, I mean employee, away from the current staff until the contract is signed. You get extra points here if you promise a current employee the position and then change your mind.
9. Make employee scheduling resemble impressionist art. A scheduling process that makes sense will make employees more comfortable so keep them guessing. Don’t let them understand how the process works. It’s actually best if you don’t have a process. Under no circumstances should you allow an employee to stay on a particular shift more than a week or two. You get bonus points here if you can keep them moving from a late shift to an early shift on an irregular basis. Hey, life’s short; they can sleep when they’re dead.
10. Remember that change is good, so keep changing things with no apparent reason or logic. For bonus points if someone asks about the change, publically ridicule them as just not smart enough to “get it.”
Are you still shy of that 100% turnover goal? Make sure you aren’t listening to your employees and inadvertently encouraging them. Remember, the only thing they should hear from you is negative reinforcement.
Good luck. If you follow these rules you should have lots more exit surveys to review. Don’t bother though – it doesn’t matter what they think anyway.
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I’ve been hearing more and more of those kinds of comments. Many of them come from successful young start-up companies that seem to be proof of the theory. But, I don’t believe they are being honest with themselves. The CEOs of these companies demonstrate that they have all the components of a good strategic plan, even if they don’t call it that.
out with the bathwater (the current murky planning processes).
