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Leadership Development: Seven Do’s and Don’ts for Effective Counseling

Of all the tasks leaders perform, one of the most difficult is counseling. I know it always has been for me. Sure, I enjoy talking with other people, sharing stories and sometimes solving all the world’s problems. However, I don’t enjoy telling someone that their performance is not acceptable and I’m not the greatest at helping someone with a problem. I always assumed that, as I rose through the levels of leadership, I would reach a point where this task would be something I could pass on to lower levels. Wrong! It’s a basic responsibility that never goes away. But it’s also a task that carries some risk that leaders need to carefully consider. Here are some do’s and don’ts for effective counseling.

1. Do document everything. I hate having to do this but in today’s legal environment, your word is not going to carry a lot of weight later on if the issue gets bigger.

2. Do try to keep counseling positive. Some people like to get right to the point and that’s okay, but I find it’s more effective to also say at least something good. Of course you don’t want to exaggerate or lie, but try to find something related to the discussion that is positive.

3. Don’t swear. I know this is difficult for some people, but it’s important. While you may consider a little profanity as a way to emphasize your point, it may be very offensive to the subject of the conversation. People who are offended by your language will not be as likely to hear your message.

4. Do keep an even keel. It is very easy to get excited or even angry and have that emotion build up as you speak. That doesn’t help. Letting your emotions take over and drive loud and demonstrative speech doesn’t help and can even make you look silly.

5. Don’t talk down to the person you are speaking with. They are an adult, just like you.

6. Don’t try to be something you’re not. Specifically, some leaders who feel close to their followers will find themselves offering services they aren’t qualified to provide. Don’t hesitate to refer to the professionals.

7. Don’t expect, or offer, confidentiality. You have no legal expectation of confidentiality and your followers should understand that. Does that crimp your style as a counselor? Maybe a little, but following this rule can keep you out of serious trouble.

These suggestions should help you be a better leader and help you with the difficult and sometimes tricky task of counseling. Here’s a final tip. Always remember that your job is to help the organization accomplish its mission and goals while helping your followers be their best. If you’re always honestly focused on those responsibilities, and have established a level of trust and respect between you and your followers, counseling will be easier and more effective.